all i see is blood
faces are tainted
clothes covered with mud
feelings have fainted
love is nowhere to be found
competition abound
as long as whistles sound
severed limbs do not astound
it is like a burning race
its hard to match the pace
finding a way out of maze
like a mice in daze
even if you do succeed
rewarded for good deed
you are only as good as steed
saddled to speed
losing a moment here
seems to much to bear
even though path is clear
destination is never near
a fly trapped in cobweb,
request plead or beg
till you drop dead,
to be devoured head to leg
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Questions
Its easier to be engaged in things :being engaged in work or with a person or something .Because if you let your mind off the hook,it starts asking all sort of questions .Questions which you do not have answers to.Questions like "what your life is about", "where is your life going","what have you done of yourselves","what you are going to do in near future or later","what is purpose of your life" . And to answer or think about these question really takes toll on one. So much that one feels its better if we stop thinking about them.
Everything one is doing seems so pointless.Its almost like one has no clue what is going on. Life just seems like a chasing a ghost which was never there at first place. It is much easier if you stop questioning and engage in things but to my peril I am not able to do that .So every once in a while i end up asking these hard riddles of life.
What bothers me more is not the fact that I do not have answers to these questions right now ,but is there going to be any time when I will be able to answer these questions. It seems as if I would never have answers to these questions . I know that I am considering these things because I am in position to think of such things .There a lot of people who do not have liberty of entertaining these thoughts for they are too busy to earn a slice of bread. Not that I am completely assured of my livelihood till eternity . But now that I am thinking of this how do I go about it.
Some take consolation by assuming that there is a higher being guiding. But I am not convinced with that logic. While others use some milestones to get a sense of purpose. I do not find anything wrong with it but my problem is I want to know which do these milestones belong to.What is destination of this route. Its easy to be part of wild goose chase . But to step back and think if the time and effort spent chasing this goose in reality time well spent or not.
I think my problem arises also from the fact that I am a narcissist. So the idea of perfect life with wife and kids , does not ring a bell. As it is just a way to engage in more activity to avoid introspection. For now I think all I can do is to go about my usual affairs. and hope I find answers to some of these questions,sooner the better.
Everything one is doing seems so pointless.Its almost like one has no clue what is going on. Life just seems like a chasing a ghost which was never there at first place. It is much easier if you stop questioning and engage in things but to my peril I am not able to do that .So every once in a while i end up asking these hard riddles of life.
What bothers me more is not the fact that I do not have answers to these questions right now ,but is there going to be any time when I will be able to answer these questions. It seems as if I would never have answers to these questions . I know that I am considering these things because I am in position to think of such things .There a lot of people who do not have liberty of entertaining these thoughts for they are too busy to earn a slice of bread. Not that I am completely assured of my livelihood till eternity . But now that I am thinking of this how do I go about it.
Some take consolation by assuming that there is a higher being guiding. But I am not convinced with that logic. While others use some milestones to get a sense of purpose. I do not find anything wrong with it but my problem is I want to know which do these milestones belong to.What is destination of this route. Its easy to be part of wild goose chase . But to step back and think if the time and effort spent chasing this goose in reality time well spent or not.
I think my problem arises also from the fact that I am a narcissist. So the idea of perfect life with wife and kids , does not ring a bell. As it is just a way to engage in more activity to avoid introspection. For now I think all I can do is to go about my usual affairs. and hope I find answers to some of these questions,sooner the better.
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